I calculate what I have done.

Today has a weird feel to it. Not particularly disagreeable, just feels like things have actually changed now. If I were to 'paint a picture', every molecule, organ, even the directional flow of blood and cells has escaped nature and is proceeding to structurally change my brain patterns and body functions. I'm enjoying it though. Just like I have been enjoying everything else this past week or so. Proverbial doors opening, revelations, etc. Everything is off track, but I feel like this is what is customarily labeled as an epiphany. Actually cutting out the bullshit and taking every day, as what it is. A laceration of hours, compiled into twenty-four and giving a new name each time the cycle hits. I haven't paid attention to the date, let alone the weekday. I'm a little clueless to the world right now, and I might stay that way for awhile.

I don't remember sleeping last night. Just constantly contorting with Zack, and the couch, and the sheet that we had twisting in between our legs. Talking through another one of our bad movie choices (his this time). I had a weird feeling his chest piece was going to rub off on my face, like when you fall asleep with sharpie on your hand and you find imprints of the design on funny places the next morning. Only I wasn't sleeping, and I had the same feeling the night before when I woke up with part of his shirt ripped open and my face glued to whatever bare skin showed. Saying goodbye was funny, following him outside for a smoke while he finished packing away the books I lent him on the stairs. Then he laughed at the outside of the card, which was just the preview of its contents - jokes of him being a dirty hippie (and my jealousy). Hugging him the first time was the funniest, because I got flustered afterwards and tried to go into the house with a cigarette. So to save face, I followed him and he asked for another hug then topped it off with a kiss. Then walked off looking like the mother fucking traveling hippie Jared and I have been giving him shit for.

Now I'm up in Mick's room while she does homework, instant messaging Vince. Wondering what to do today, and maybe just stay holed up in Jared's room playing with garage band and all of it's new apps. Watch Rome or the Big Bang Theory. Wait for Jordan to get off work so we can hang out, and maybe to peek at the new crib.

One step at a time.