I've got the children today. We're making paper mache air balloons. Something very childish in me loves making messes. That's evident though, I get ink and paint all over my clothing.

I'm giving my balloon to Jordan. I haven't seen him lately at all. Well I guess since Saturday night, but seems longer.
Same with Bethany. What the hell is wrong with me. I'm missing all of these people.

Though I had a very confidence boosting conversation with my B. I've never been so real with a female, and it constantly makes me laugh. We've been gay since day one, singing Lady Gaga together during silence.

I feel like maybe today I just really don't have a lot to say.
I'm more stoked on the plans for this evening.

Too much to talk about.

California - was really fun. The feeling of realizing that we were actually not in Eugene anymore, let alone Oregon was refreshing & exciting. We met up with Joe, saw the tattoo parlour he apprentices at. Strolled along the beach, even that seemed really different than the Oregon coast - I found some pretty cool rocks. Built a "sand castle". Poked jellyfish. Chased birds. Got wet. Got to pet a gargantuan dog. We went to multiple thrift stores, all run by disorganized old people. Went into the most interesting bead shop I've ever encountered. The drive home hurt a little bit though.

Oregon - Camo canz. A huge drunken ordeal. A huge WONDERFUL drunken ordeal. Checking my outbox the next morning though, not so wonderful. Had a sleep over at Jordan's, RE5 is creeping both of us out. Then I got to sleep in a bed! I still can't believe he has so many decorative throw pillows. Last night, went over to Lucia's for as long as it took to say goodbye to Cam, Vince and Jordan. Hung out with Bethany for a second, before realizing that for once - I was tired at 1am. Then my moms fat cat woke me up at 8am.

So here I am - tired, bruised from Josh and Jared, way too full from pancakes. I'm going to clean my photobucket account. I can't think. Coffee doesn't sound too bad..

Bethany and I are taking off to California.
Literally grabbed a duffel bag - filled it, and now I'm eating then taking a quick shower.
I'm not exactly sure when we're going to leave, but it's going to be fun and I'm stoked.

I'm thinking I might get to see my dirty hippie.
I brought his jacket, and a few books in case I do.

Ah! Shit what the hell am I doing freakin' blogging?
New episode of True Blood.

The most exciting thing I've done today is make a playlist on myspace so I have music when I network on da interwebz.
I'm so fucking cool it hurts.

I had an awesome night adventuring, though I feel somewhat like a zombie right now.
Nothing a shower and food can't fix.

Highlight:
I looked through my texts, and yup - didn't imagine any of it.
That felt like a rainbow (fitting, since he's a hippie).
I need to get cracking on my scientific breakthrough, invention of wings.
Also my grammar is superb intoxicated.

...Yeah, I still just want to talk about him.
Maybe I'm still drunk. I miss Jordan. I want to see Bethany. I want to play Paramore on drums.
I need to grab some dibs on that chocolate zucchini cake and go to the klittywang engagement party at five(?)

New phone soon.

My body aches, it's wonderful. Drunken park, with a gorgeous fox. I missed her.

The alcohol and the most intense people-watching I've ever fucking engaged in.

Epic proportions, rly.

Then playing the best combination of drinking games, the kind where it makes you feel good for drinking for it lets you grow the brass (tits/bawlz) to break the ice between new people. Falling asleep in a huge cuddle puddle on the trampoline.

Connecting with some family, then swimming. 

Recording a full song with the J's. Gaining some goals for our musical project, and it's really creative. Not only are they my best friends, they're my outlets for everything. Especially my indian banana. I'm going back to his house soon for some more gh and Tosh.

Tomorrow: Go out to lunch, go to the fair, dinner party, go out to movie. Then the next day brutal hiking, and the engagement party.

My inbox is full er'yday. It's mind-blowing how many friends I love, how many I've reconnected with, how many I've met.

I could not be more grateful. It's also nice to having been engaged in a constant conversation via text for however long he's been gone.* There's something about him that I can laugh at probably twice a day average.

Healthy. Everything is healthy. Best decision of my life.

Actually, the 72 airheads were.

*edit: SIX DAYS. Incredible.

I have a plan! A life plan! It's fluctuating, and will continue to do so I imagine. However, finally it's something that will make me happy. Fool proof, and I like that.

I also like being a married couple with B. Reading books under the blanket next to each other, talking about butt worms around new company. You understand that maybe sometimes I just need to buy seventy-two airheads, or cry at a certain television show. I leave your house smelling like a man and I love it.

I've got a pillowy pectoral muscle out there to conquer. As soon as I figure out how to bestow wings. Though, I doubt that's a strict contract.

Mmm, everything feels nice. Along with that cheese pizza and snapple in my stomach.
So biggest question of the night now, what the hell is Horsemen?

I thought I woke up early today. Nope, I gazed at about 12:15pm.

I guess I had been drinking, if you want to call it that.

Today's Monday, and that's the only concept of time that I have.

That being only acquired to yesterday being when True Blood aired.

Horrible episode by the way, even if it was on Cameron and Bird's large television.

So now I'm sitting here, waiting for my woman to come over.

I'm going to see what a shower will do for me (miracles I'm guessing).

Maybe go on a picnic and read, because she's the best reading partner I've ever found.

I can't wait to charge my phone. I also need to purchase stamps for my paper bag letter.

I liked when he fell asleep holding my hand that rested on his chest.

And never stopped touching my hip bone. 

A little of my inspiration left town.

Today has a weird feel to it. Not particularly disagreeable, just feels like things have actually changed now. If I were to 'paint a picture', every molecule, organ, even the directional flow of blood and cells has escaped nature and is proceeding to structurally change my brain patterns and body functions. I'm enjoying it though. Just like I have been enjoying everything else this past week or so. Proverbial doors opening, revelations, etc. Everything is off track, but I feel like this is what is customarily labeled as an epiphany. Actually cutting out the bullshit and taking every day, as what it is. A laceration of hours, compiled into twenty-four and giving a new name each time the cycle hits. I haven't paid attention to the date, let alone the weekday. I'm a little clueless to the world right now, and I might stay that way for awhile.

I don't remember sleeping last night. Just constantly contorting with Zack, and the couch, and the sheet that we had twisting in between our legs. Talking through another one of our bad movie choices (his this time). I had a weird feeling his chest piece was going to rub off on my face, like when you fall asleep with sharpie on your hand and you find imprints of the design on funny places the next morning. Only I wasn't sleeping, and I had the same feeling the night before when I woke up with part of his shirt ripped open and my face glued to whatever bare skin showed. Saying goodbye was funny, following him outside for a smoke while he finished packing away the books I lent him on the stairs. Then he laughed at the outside of the card, which was just the preview of its contents - jokes of him being a dirty hippie (and my jealousy). Hugging him the first time was the funniest, because I got flustered afterwards and tried to go into the house with a cigarette. So to save face, I followed him and he asked for another hug then topped it off with a kiss. Then walked off looking like the mother fucking traveling hippie Jared and I have been giving him shit for.

Now I'm up in Mick's room while she does homework, instant messaging Vince. Wondering what to do today, and maybe just stay holed up in Jared's room playing with garage band and all of it's new apps. Watch Rome or the Big Bang Theory. Wait for Jordan to get off work so we can hang out, and maybe to peek at the new crib.

One step at a time.